Renesmee's Promise: An Imprint Saga Story
by IamKate
Summary: Renesmee has been plagued by the same nightmare since she was a baby. When she figures out that the monster in her dream is Jacob and family secrets get revealed, Ness flees, beginning a journey that'll make her question everything she thought was real.
1. Part I

A/N – I wrote this a few months ago for the Fandom Fights Tsunami event. Originally, I wasn't going to post it here, but I've had a lot of requests for it. If you donated money to read it early, thank you so much because it went to a great cause, and I hope you enjoyed the over 200 stories that were part of the compilation. This story was originally a gigantic one shot, but I polled people on Twitter and they said they'd prefer to read it in two shots.

Scenes included in this story are from _Breaking Dawn_ and my story _Absent Imprint (Leah's Story)_. There's a moment in Absent where Ness runs away from home. This is her POV of that event.

The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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><p><strong>Renesmee's Promise (An Imprint Saga Story)<strong>

Part I

_Renesmee's POV_

"Jacob, will you kiss me?" I asked my best friend as we sat on his father's couch.

Jake had brought me to La Push to visit Billy who hadn't been feeling well lately. While his father napped, Jacob and I had made popcorn to eat with plans to watch the football game. Football wasn't really my thing, but Jake loved the sport so I tolerated it.

"What brought that on?" he questioned now, giving me a startled look.

I shrugged casually and he looked away. Kissing my best friend had been something on my mind a lot lately…ever since I turned fifteen, well technically five, but physically and emotionally I was a typical teenager. And I wanted to be kissed like any other normal girl my age. More importantly, I wanted Jacob to be the one who kissed me.

I was in love with him. I had been for a while. He wasn't my first crush. The first guy I ever really noticed was Brady from Sam Uley's pack. Brady was introverted like me. One day while I was at a La Push bonfire with Jacob, I was speaking to Brady about a book we'd both read and I realized he was really attractive. I fell for him soon after. Of course, the more I made my feelings known, the more uncomfortable he became around me, always sending panicked glances in Jacob's direction.

I asked Jake about that once. He'd responded with an uneasy expression on his face that it was because Brady knew if he hurt me, he'd have Jacob to deal with. I loved Jake dearly, but sometimes he could be _way_ too overprotective of me. He'd been like that for as long as I could remember.

Brady ended up breaking my heart when he told me that while he liked me, he would never be interested in me in _that_ way. And the first person I'd turned to was Jacob. He had wrapped me in his warm embrace, his eyes pained, while I sobbed my heart out for hours. He'd been my rock that day.

While I was getting over my heartache, I began to realize something. Jake was always the one I turned to when I needed someone. He was the most important person in my world. Just seeing him made me feel better. And I also quickly realized that Brady wasn't the one I was in love with after all. It was Jacob. It had always _been_ Jacob. The problem was Jacob didn't see me as anything but a kid.

He glanced over at me and gave me his trademark grin which quickly sent my heart into overdrive. Reaching over to brush his fingers across my jaw line, he said, "You know what, Nessie? I might just kiss you someday. When you're older."

I rolled my eyes. That was Jacob's favorite line…

_I'll get your ears pierced someday…when you're older._

_I'll teach you how to drive…when you're older._

_I'll show you how to cliff dive, Nessie…when you're older. _

_I'll give you your first kiss…when you're older._

"You know, if you're not careful, I might just find someone else to kiss," I threatened. "Wouldn't that break your heart? To not be my first kiss?"

"I'd be completely devastated. I wouldn't be able to go on," Jacob replied dryly and I huffed in frustration. As in love with Jacob as I was, he could be such a cocky shit sometimes.

I wondered not for the first time if there was something wrong with me—other than the obvious. Was I repulsive? Did the fact that I was conceived by a vampire father make me a hideous freak? I worried about that a lot.

My mom had assured me that I was a beautiful, wonderful person, but I knew she was biased. One day when I was giving into my teenage hormones and throwing the mother of all tantrums, I even told her I was a disgusting monster who'd never find true love. She merely smiled at me, patted me on the hand, and said she could guarantee love would happen for me someday. I just had to be patient and give it time.

I sighed and looked at Jacob's profile as he watched TV. He was seriously the most beautiful man I'd ever met. Why couldn't he be the one for me?

_Please love me, Jacob, _I silently begged. As if he could hear my thoughts, he turned his head so that our eyes met.

"Come here," he said, lifting his arm so I could snuggle close to him, which I did contentedly. I breathed in his wonderful scent—the smell of smoky pine and ocean breeze—and wrapped my arm around his middle as his hand began making soothing circles on my shoulder. He kissed my hair and we continued to watch the game. Being this close to him, I felt so protected. Jake's warmth eventually made me sleepy and I closed my eyes…

_I was being lifted out of the darkness. I could hear voices yelling at each other._

"_Take the baby," one said._

"_Throw it out the window," another replied. This voice scared me. It was so full of hatred and anger. It was the voice of the monster; the one who'd haunted my dreams for years. _

_Things began to shift around me. I saw my mom, bloody and human. I knew it was real. I was reliving my birth. She was so pale…so deathly white. I was suddenly placed in my Aunt Rosalie's arms. She was humming, wiping blood and afterbirth off me. She placed me against her shoulder and that's when I saw the figure standing in the shadows. He was shaking…he was going to hurt me. He took a step toward me, his body language screaming his murderous intent…_

I jerked awake, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. I realized I was still on the couch, but sometime while I slept Jacob had shifted us so that we were both lying flat. I was between him and the back of the couch, my arm across his waist. He had fallen asleep too, his mouth partly open as his chest rose and fell on each breath he took.

I brought a shaking hand to my face and ran it wearily over my eyes. I hated that dream. I used to have it all the time when I was a kid, but I usually only had it now when I was agitated. When I was little, I'd wake up screaming and my father would rush into my room with a grim expression on his face as he wrapped me in his cool arms. Thanks to his ability to read minds, he knew every detail of my nightmare, but he always assured me it was just a bad dream and I had nothing to fear.

I settled back down next to Jake and placed my head against his chest, listening to the strong steady beat of his heart. I felt myself calm instantly. Moving my head so that I could stare at him, I tentatively reached up and lightly touched one of Jacob's soft eyebrows before my fingers drifted over his sculpted cheekbone. His head moved and I froze, but he merely turned his face into my hand. I continued my exploration, running a fingertip over the slight dent in his chin. I rarely got the opportunity to touch him like this. Jacob and I were extremely close, but he always kept a frustrating distance between us.

"Jake," Billy's voice called out. I quickly withdrew my hand as Jacob's eyes fluttered open. He looked at me in confusion before a lazy smile appeared on his face.

"Hey," he murmured, sitting up and pushing me slightly back so that I was no longer hanging on him.

"Hi," I replied, hiding my disappointment at our removed contact. "Your dad's awake."

"Oh…okay," he said, standing up.

"I think I'm going to head for home," I said, also standing up.

"Let me check on my dad and I'll take you back," Jake replied.

"That's okay. I feel like walking," I responded. I was the only Cullen allowed to be on La Push land. I didn't understand why, but the wolves who protected the rez, Sam Uley's pack, were incredibly indulgent when it came to me. The other members of my family—not so much.

Jake looked at me hesitantly. "Are you okay? You seem upset."

"I'm fine," I said, giving him a brave smile. "I had a bad dream."

His face turned pained. "The same one?"

"Yeah."

"Ness, let me take you home," he insisted.

"Jake, really. I'm fine," I said. "I want to walk."

He sighed as he saw the stubborn lift of my chin. He came over and kissed my forehead. How I wished he'd move his mouth lower and give me a proper kiss.

"Call me when you get home, okay?" he requested. "Otherwise I'll worry."

"All right," I said as I followed him into Billy's room. I gave Billy a quick hug goodbye before I headed outside and made my way into the darkening woods. It was almost twilight. I had walked about a mile when I felt a presence nearby. Turning my head, I saw the wolf forms of Collin and Brady. Brady didn't meet my eyes. Collin came over and licked my hand.

"Gross Collin," I said as I ran my fingers over his head. He hummed at the gesture. Collin was one of my favorite wolves. While his best friend Brady was quiet, Collin was a smart ass and always up to no good. He let out a little whine as I walked.

"I'm just headed for home," I explained. He began walking next to me while Brady stayed several feet behind us. As soon as we reached the La Push borderline, Collin let out a little woof.

"Thanks for the escort," I said. He gave another bark and he and Brady returned back the way they came. I walked the rest of the way home with my mind on how I could make Jacob fall in love with me.

"You're too young for thoughts like that," my father said, appearing by my side. I jumped at the sound of his voice, so lost in thought I didn't hear his approach.

"You know…I really hate when you mind-drop on my private thoughts," I told him.

He winked at me and changed the subject. "When was the last time you fed?"

"A few days ago," I said with a shrug.

"You want to go hunting with your old man?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. It was hard to consider anyone an "old man" when they were forever frozen at seventeen. _I_ was beginning to look older than my dad.

"All right," I replied.

We headed deep into the woods and found a few deer we drained in seconds. Walking back, I told my father about my visit to La Push. As we reached the cottage, my mom appeared in the doorway with an exasperated expression on her face.

"Would you call Jacob and let him know you're alive and well?" she said. Crap!

"I forgot I was supposed to call him," I replied as I went inside. I headed into my room and grabbed my cell phone off my dresser. Sure enough, there were ten missed calls. I quickly dialed his number.

"Ness?" he asked, sounding panicked.

"I'm sorry," I immediately stated.

"You're going to give me a dammed heart attack, do you know that?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Collin and Brady walked me through La Push, and then when I got home Dad and I went hunting."

"Yep, I'm looking at myself in the mirror right now and I see a streak of gray hair," he told me. "That wasn't there a few hours ago, you know."

"You worry too much," I said with a laugh.

"When it comes to you, I always will," he murmured and my heart leapt excitedly.

Trying not to show my reaction, I said, "Pull yourself away from the mirror and get some sleep."

"Yes ma'am," he teased. "Night Nessie."

"Good night," I replied with a smile on my face. I hung up and took a shower before I headed for bed. With my mind on Jacob, I fell into a peaceful sleep. When I got up the next morning, there was a note in my mom's familiar handwriting waiting for me on the living room table.

_We're at the meadow if you need anything. _

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Meadow was code for: wild afternoon of sex. I knew my parents had a very healthy sex life. Sometimes I wish I didn't have extra sensory hearing, because the sound of my parents moaning in the room next to mine was enough to scar me for the rest of my existence. As I got older, they had placed a radio in their room and I had one in mine. Luckily for me, I was a pretty sound sleeper, but there was more than one night where I'd wake up to the sound of moaning and classical music playing.

Putting the note back on the table, I decided to go see Jacob. I sent him a text to see where he was. A minute later he returned my message and said he was back at his dad's. I grabbed my favorite blue shirt and pulled it over me. It clung in all the right places and really brought out the red highlights in my bronze hair. Pairing it with my favorite jeans, I slipped on my knee-high black boots and headed outside, making my way to La Push. As I got closer to the rez, I heard voices in the distance and smiled as I recognized Seth, Quil, and Embry, all members of Jake's pack. They were laughing and I was about to head over to them and say hello when I heard what they were saying.

"I bet Jake about shit his pants when Ness asked him to kiss her," Embry said. I froze even as my cheeks began to burn. Jacob told them about that?

"Don't say anything to Nessie or him," Seth pleaded. "It'd just embarrass them both. Jake wouldn't have even told me if he hadn't been thinking about it when we were patrolling for Sam last night—"

"We won't say anything," Quil said. "Poor Jake. If Claire ever asks me to kiss her when she gets older, I don't know how I'm going to handle it."

I frowned. Claire was only a kid. Why would Quil even be _thinking _about something like that?

Embry snorted before saying, "Maybe you should practice on Bella like Jake did."

I lost my balance and grabbed the tree next to me at that announcement. Jacob had kissed my mom? When?

"Can you imagine that conversation?" Quil said. "Hey Ness, guess what? I was totally in love with your mom at one time. Talk about messed up."

I plastered myself against the tree, my stomach queasy. Was what they were saying true? Why hadn't Jacob ever told me? Why hadn't my mom? No wonder Jacob never saw me as anything but a friend. Was he even over her?

"Come on, that was a long time ago," Seth said. "You know how much Ness means to him."

"True," Quil replied in a more serious tone. "I'm just glad Jake stopped to look at Nessie right after she was born. Can you imagine how fucked up he'd be if he had successfully killed her that night like he planned?"

I covered my ears with my hands to block out the rest of their conversation. I couldn't listen to anymore. I shook my head in denial as tears filled my eyes. Behind my blurry vision I saw him…the mysterious shadow figure who'd haunted my dreams for so long. Now that I thought about it, he was Jacob's size and he had been shaking like a wolf about to phase. I placed my hand over my mouth to hide my cry. I didn't want Jake's pack to hear me.

As quietly as possible, I headed back to the cottage. As soon as I was far enough away from La Push, I ran as fast as I could, avoiding going anywhere near my Grandfather Carlisle's property. I didn't want to run into any family members until I had time to process everything.

As soon as I entered the safety of my home, I shut the door behind me and slid to the floor as gutting-wrenching sobs wracked my body. I couldn't believe it. Jacob—_my Jacob_—had tried to kill me when I was little. He was the one I had feared all my life.

And my parents knew it! My father knew my dreams. He would have told my mom because he never kept anything from her. Why hadn't they told me Jacob had tried to hurt me when I was born? Why hadn't they told me about my mom and Jake's previous relationship? I knew they were close friends, but in love? They had even kissed! He wouldn't kiss me, but he had made out with my mother. How many other people had known the truth? Jake's pack knew. Did the rest of my family? Was I surrounded by a bunch of liars?

The walls of the cottage began to close in around me. I heard my phone go off in my room. Taking a steadying breath, I got up off the floor and went to check who it was…like I didn't know. Sure enough, Jacob's name flashed across the screen and I shuddered. I couldn't face him. I couldn't even speak to him.

I looked around the sanctuary of my bedroom blankly. Everything I had known and everything I'd believed to be true was one big fat cover up—a lie by the very people who said they loved me. How could my parents let me hang out with my would-be murderer? And as stupid as it was, what hurt me even more was the fact that Jacob and my mom kissed. How far had they gone? Had it been a mere peck on the lips? Or had they slept together? I pressed my palms to my eyes to block out that question, but torturous images were now taunting me from behind closed eyelids.

I started to hyperventilate. I needed to get out of there. Running over to my closest, I ripped the door off the hinges and ran inside. Grabbing my suitcase, I threw an assortment of clothes in it before rushing to my dresser and filling it with panties, bras, and socks. Hurrying into the bathroom, I grabbed my necessities and also threw them in my bag. I heard my phone ring again persistently. My lips twisted into a sneer as I reached over and turned the volume to mute. Grabbing a piece of paper, I left a note for my parents.

_I need to leave for awhile. Please respect that and don't follow me._ Looking at the note I added with immature relish, _And Mom, if Jacob's upset, give him a kiss for me…I heard you're good at that!_

I placed my message on the living room table and returned to my room. I reached inside my desk and grabbed one of the fake ID's my parents insisted I keep on hand for emergencies. I zipped up my suitcase and headed outside, running as fast as I could to Port Angeles. I might've been part human, but I had inherited my father's speed.

Stopping by the bank, I withdrew a large sum of money and then headed to the airport. It was small and the only flights they offered wouldn't take me far. I ordered a ticket to Seattle where the plane would land at Sea-Tac International Airport. Maybe I'd be able to get a flight to Australia or South America from there. I'd have to avoid Europe thanks to the Volturi, but everywhere else was an option.

As I waited for my flight, I checked my phone. Sixteen missed messages. The logical, rational part of me began to question if I was overreacting a tad. I hadn't even heard Jacob's side of things. Sighing, I sat down in one of the airport chairs and dialed his number.

"Nessie, where are you? It doesn't take this long to get to La Push," he said before we could even exchange greetings.

"Jake—" I tried to speak, but tearful emotion started to choke me.

"What's going on?" he asked immediately. "I've got a really bad feeling and…is something wrong with you?"

Swallowing over the painful lump in my throat, I said, "Jacob, I have some questions for you and I want you to answer them truthfully."

"Okay," he replied slowly.

"Were you ever in love with my mom? Did you two ever kiss?" I rasped out.

He didn't say anything for so long that I thought he'd hung up. And then I heard swearing—loud, furious swearing.

"Where are you?" Jacob demanded when he finally started to calm down.

"Just tell me," I said.

"Renesmee—" My breath hitched. Jake never called me that. "That was so long ago…before you were even born."

"Not so long ago," I countered. "Not even six years."

"Nessie..." He sounded tortured. "Please tell me where you are."

"And did you…" My fingers tightened apprehensively on my phone. "Did you ever try to k-kill me right after I was born?"

Again silence. Then in a voice I could barely hear, Jacob asked, "Where did you hear all this?"

I was shocked at his tone. He sounded like he was about to cry. My tough, infallible…deceitful, murderous Jacob.

"I guess the fact that you haven't denied anything means it's all true," I said in a dead voice. "You're the monster from my dreams. And all of you knew it. You told my dad to throw me out a window when I was born. You…you were going to kill me."

"Nessie, please…" he pleaded.

A voice announced over the loud speaker, "Now boarding, American Airlines flight 53…"

"What was that?" Jake asked. "Are you at the airport?"

"Goodbye Jacob," I whispered and quietly disconnected the call.

I had just gotten into my seat when the screen on my phone flashed again. The caller ID revealed it was Aunt Alice. I knew she couldn't see me in her visions because I was a half breed so Jacob must have called my family. I didn't want to talk to her. She'd just send Uncle Jasper after me and he'd use his voodoo power to calm me down and then drag me back home. I didn't want to see any of them. They could all go to hell as far as I was concerned. The phone stopped and then flashed once more, this time the caller being my mom. I calmly hit the power button and the phone went dead.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the plane taxied out onto the runway and we were soon airborne. The flight was quick and we were landing in no time. As I exited the plane, I went over to the large monitor that listed flights. None of the destinations sounded that exciting. Where was I going to go? I closed my eyes tiredly. I felt so confused and hurt I couldn't think straight.

"Excuse me, miss," a woman's voice said. "Are you all right?"

I looked over and saw a flight attendant wearing an Alaska Airlines uniform. The Denali coven popped into my head. Tanya would let me stay with her for awhile. I was positive of it.

"I'm fine, thank you," I said. I made my way to the baggage claim and grabbed my suitcase before I headed to the ticket counter and approached the lady behind the desk. I asked politely, "Can I get a ticket for Fairbanks, Alaska?"

She began typing into her computer. "The next flight doesn't leave until tomorrow morning. Would you like a ticket?"

I pressed my lips together. Would my parents find me? I knew they'd be looking for me by now. I looked at the picture behind the woman. It was of the Seattle skyline. I knew Leah Clearwater was living in Seattle with a guy she'd met in college. I had met Dylan once before and he seemed incredibly nice. Maybe they'd let me hide out at their place for the night. Leah had retired from Jacob's pack shortly after Sam and Emily Uley had their first baby. She had moved to Seattle and rarely made it back to La Push these days. But despite that fact, she and I had become close over the years through the power of email and Skype.

"Yes please," I told the woman.

She booked my reservation and I went outside and ordered a taxi. I arrived at Leah's apartment and knocked on the door. She opened it, surprise appearing on her face. I immediately turned emotional. Seeing her reminded me of Jacob and the good times with the pack.

"Ness, hey." She moved so that I could enter the condo. I walked in and turned to face her.

"Leah, could I please stay here tonight?" I pleaded.

She looked out at the parking lot before closing the door. "How did you get here?"

"I ran to the airport in Port Angeles and hopped on a plane to Seattle. Then I came straight here."

"Does Jake know where you are?"

"No!" I said in a panicked tone. "I don't want him to either."

She looked at me closely before she wrapped her arm around my waist and dragged me into her living room. She might not have been a wolf anymore, but she was still strong. She took me over to her couch so that we could sit down.

"Okay, spill," she said. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my legs to my chest. Putting my head on my knees, I felt like an emotional dam cracked inside me and I began to sob uncontrollably.

"Did something happen to Jake or one of the guys in the pack?" she asked nervously.

"No, it w-was nothing like that," I assured her and then started to cry even harder.

"Ness, you have to calm down before you make yourself sick," she ordered.

"Leah, I'm j-just so u-upset." I barely got out.

"Tell me what's wrong," she encouraged.

"J-Jake u-used to love my m-mother," I stated while trying to hold back my anguish.

"Oh…" she said in a lighter tone. "Jesus, Renesmee, I thought it was something serious."

"O-Of course it's serious!" I cried. She opened her mouth to argue so I added, "I a-also f-found out that he tried to k-kill me when I was a b-baby."

She froze like a deer caught in headlights and then she said, "Do your parents at least know where you took off?"

"No, I don't want to talk to them, especially my mom," I replied as my mouth went grim.

"Honey," she said in a light tone. "Jake will find you in a half a heartbeat if he decides to track you."

That confused me. I had paid for my airplane ticket in cash so I wouldn't leave a trace. "How? I covered my tracks."

She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. Finally she said, "It's all part of being a wolf. Ness, let me call him, otherwise he'll show up and bust down my door."

"Fine," I said. "But I don't want to talk to him. And if he tries to come here, I'll run."

"Okay," she replied. She grabbed her phone and went out onto the apartment balcony and closed the door. I could hear her speaking, but I began to hum to tune the conversation out. I had no interest in hearing Jacob's voice.

I had finally stopped crying by the time she came back. She paused as she looked at me and then grabbed a box of tissues and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I murmured. Curiosity getting the better of me, I asked, "W-what'd he say?"

"That he loves you…that they all do, and they want you to come home."

I shook my head. "I can't. Not right now."

"You're welcome to stay here, but I really hope you'll consider going home and working this out."

"No," I said. "I never want to see any of them again for as long as I live."

Leah looked like she was trying not to smile. I had the feeling she thought I was just being an irrational teenager. She said dryly, "Considering you're immortal, that's a long time to not see your family."

My anger got the better of me and I stood up. "I knew you'd be on their side."

"I'm not on anyone's side," she said, her voice going firm. "I don't even know what the hell happened so you can drop your 'it's me versus the world' attitude. Sit back down and talk to me."

I wanted to tell her off—after all, she'd been in Jake's pack. She probably knew all about his sordid past. But I suddenly felt drained. I sat back down on the couch with a sigh.

"I-I don't want to go into details, if that's all right. I can't talk about it," I said. The last thing I wanted to do was tell Leah how I figured out Jacob was the dark figure from my nightmares. She'd just report everything back to him, and I didn't want Seth, Embry, and Quil to get in trouble. They hadn't even known I was around to hear their private conversation.

"That's okay," Leah said.

I bit my lip as I painfully thought back to everything I'd learned. "Let's just say I remembered something. And when I asked Jake, he confessed everything."

Leah reached over and gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Nessie, you have to understand something. None of us knew what you were. Even Carlisle and Edward didn't know. As far as we knew, you could have been born a complete monster that destroyed everything in your sight. It was pretty reassuring when you came out instead looking like a normal, beautiful baby girl. Yes, Jake thought about destroying you."

My stomach twisted but Leah didn't notice my pain. "He loved Bella, though I think he got his feelings of friendship mixed up with stupid teenage hormones. When he thought she died right after you were born, he wasn't thinking straight. But I promise you, Ness. From the moment Jacob looked into your eyes, he has loved and cherished you. He would've died on the spot if anything happened to you. I know this for a fact because I saw the whole thing through the windows of your house. As soon as he really looked at you, you became his whole world. That hasn't changed once in all the time you've been with us."

I listened to what Leah had to say but only felt more confused. Nothing made sense to me anymore. "Leah…" I started to say and stopped.

"You can tell me anything, you know," she said.

"I-I think I love Jacob," I whispered and felt ill. Even after everything I learned, I still loved the bastard. "I mean…I _know_ I love him. My dad says I'm too young to understand what that kind of love is, but he sees me as his little girl. I'm in love with Jacob Black. And to know that he gave my mom his heart first—"

"Something which she didn't accept because she loved your dad," Leah countered. "Ness, that was before you were even born. Don't hold it against Jake now. I'm positive that if Jacob could go back in time, he would have never tricked himself into believing he loved Bella."

"But he'll never love me." I confessed ashamedly. Tears welled up in my eyes again, but I blinked them back before they could spill.

"Ah…now I get it," she said. "You love him, but he still sees you as a kid, right?"

I nodded and to my surprise, Leah laughed. She reached over and patted my cheek, her face turning sad as she said, "You know, Dylan was engaged before he met me, but his fiancée died. I didn't think he would ever love me like he loved her, but I gave him time. Now…I have no doubt of Dylan's love for me. Lil' M—" I smiled slightly at Leah's nickname for me. It stood for Lil' Monster. She'd been calling me that since I was a baby much to Jacob's annoyance, but coming from Leah, I knew it was a term of affection, not an insult.

"You're only fifteen," she continued. "Once you get a little older, I'm positive Jake will start seeing you in a whole new light. Give him time though. Guys are notoriously slow at picking up the signals when a girl is interested. In the meantime, will you think about going home and talking to Jake? He sounded pretty torn up when I called."

"Good," I said with more vigor than I intended. Looking apologetically at Leah, I said, "I…I just need some time. I'm not ready to face him or my mom right now. I want some space to think things over."

"What are you going to do, Nessie?" she asked cautiously.

Frowning, I said, "I might go up north for a bit. Our Denali cousins are up there. I think they'll let me stay with them."

"And if they don't?"

I let out a small sigh. "Maybe I'll go see our friends in the Amazon."

"Before you go globe trotting, pretty please consider talking to Jacob. Or if you don't want to talk to him, call your parents."

"I'll think about it," I said just as the front door opened.

I froze, worried that it was a relative, but instead Leah's boyfriend walked in carrying a suitcase. He had obviously just gotten back from a business trip. Feeling like an intruder, I offered to leave, but they both insisted I stay the night. We ordered Chinese food and spent the next few hours chatting. Dylan was charming and hilarious. By the time it was nighttime, my mood felt a little lighter.

Leah prepared the couch for me to sleep on. As I crawled into the sheets, she said, "I'll take you to the airport tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks Leah. For everything," I said with a yawn. After all the trauma of the day, I was exhausted.

"No problem," she replied. "Sleep tight."

I tried to fall asleep, but my mind kept racing with everything I'd learned. I hurt. Every molecule in my body was in pain. Half of me wanted to get up and run out of the condo and never look back. Another bigger part of me wanted to go home and let Jacob wrap his warm arms around me. I wanted to seek the solace he had given me my entire life. I couldn't get my brain to fathom that the man who had loved and protected me for so long was the same man who was capable of murder…my murder. It broke my heart.

Around 5 AM, I finally got up and called the airport. I confirmed my flight and left a note for Leah letting her know I was catching an early flight to Alaska. I didn't want to wake her. She'd only try to talk me out of leaving again. Slipping out the front door with my suitcase, I went to the end of the street and called a cab.

A few hours later, my plane was landing in Fairbanks. To my surprise, my Denali cousin Eleazar was waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he grabbed my suitcase from my hand.

"The wolf you stayed with in Seattle called your friend Jacob after she realized you'd left her place. He immediately called your parents who called us. Using some of our connections, we figured out quickly which flight you were on."

My mouth went into a straight line. So much for covering my tracks. I looked at Eleazar's profile. "So it's okay? Me staying with you, I mean?"

"Of course," he replied, giving me a hug. "The ladies are already making plans on how to entertain you."

I groaned silently as we got into his car. I just wanted peace, quiet, and plenty of time to wallow in my self-misery. It took us a couple of hours to get to their place deep in the Denali National Forest. As soon as I entered the house, I was wrapped in Tanya's cool arms.

"Oh honey," she said sadly as she examined my tired expression.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," I replied.

"I'm glad you came to us," she said as she grabbed my arm and guided me into the house. "You have no idea how worried and upset your family is. When are you going to call them?"

"I don't know," I told her. "I don't really want to talk to them right now."

Tanya's lips quirked. "Whether you want to talk to them or not isn't really an option. Edward said and I quote, 'either she calls us when she gets in or I'm coming up there. And if she tries to run, you keep her there.' Now, I don't want to force anyone to stay here against their will, but I've never heard Edward sound so angry before, not even when the Volturi tried to destroy your family. So in exchange for staying here, will you please call your father so I can continue to live my life in peace?"

I sighed. "Fine. But would it be all right if I showered and rested first? I haven't slept in a couple of days and I'm exhausted."

She squeezed my shoulder in sympathy. "Sure. Let me show you to your room."

I was given a private suite with my own bath. I grabbed the essentials out of my suitcase and went into the bathroom. I stood under the warm spray of the water for a good ten minutes before I washed my hair. After getting out of the shower and drying off, I pulled on the large t-shirt I usually wore to bed. It had once been Jacob's, but I was too tired to search for anything else to wear. Climbing into bed, I was out in seconds.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note - I'll post Part II in a couple of days. <strong>


	2. Part II

**Story Recap:** Renesmee found out that Jacob was not only in love with her mother at one point, but that he also tried to kill her when she was a baby. Hurt and confused, Ness runs away to Alaska. She ends up at the Denali coven's house. After being shown to her room, she decides to take a nap.

* * *

><p><strong>Part II<strong>

_Renesmee's POV_

I had the dream again.

"_Take the baby." I knew now that it was my father's voice speaking. _

_I heard Jacob's cruel response. "Throw it out the window."_

_The dream shifted and I saw the dark figure standing in the shadows, trembling in his rage. He took a step forward and this time I saw him enter the light of the room. I saw Jacob's beautiful face masked in murderous hatred. _

And I woke up screaming. Kate flew into the bedroom, alarm written all over her face. When she realized it was just me in the room and that I wasn't in danger, she quickly came over to me and sat down, pulling me into her arms as I sobbed.

"Shh…it's okay," she murmured. "You're safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

When I eventually calmed down, she got up and grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and wet it. Bringing it back to me, she wiped the tears from my face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. I shook my head.

She reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Did it have something to do with your wolf?"

My chin wobbled, but I slowly nodded.

"I see," she said, handing me the washcloth. I brought it to my face and pressed it against my burning eyes.

"Renesmee, I don't know much about Jacob Black, and I have no reason to speak highly of the wolf pack…after all, if it hadn't been for their actions, my sister Irina would still be here."

I peeked at Kate from beneath the washcloth. She gave me a gentle smile as she said, "I do know that he cares very much about you. Do you remember when your family asked us to witness your growth before the Volturi visit a few years ago? Your house had been full of vampires and he wouldn't let any of us get too close to you. He was so very protective of you. And when the Volturi finally arrived, he stayed right by your side, regardless of the danger."

She got up from the bed and made her way to the door. Looking back at me, she added, "He's a good man, Renesmee, and you've always seemed to care for him very much. I don't know what happened between you two, but I do know people don't change overnight. The man you thought you knew might be a little more flawed than he was before, but he's still the same person you've always loved."

She gave me another smile and left. I glanced at the clock next to my bed and saw it was almost 4 PM. Sighing, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed my dad's number. He answered after the first ring.

"Renesmee," he said, his voice both relieved and furious. "Would you care to explain yourself?"

"I think my note said it all," I replied.

"Your note didn't explain a dammed thing!" my father snapped. I was suddenly thankful that we had so many miles separating us. I had never heard my dad so angry.

I said rigidly, "I would have thought Jacob would have told you. Doesn't he usually run to Mom about everything?"

"Watch your tone, little girl," he warned. "And I want to hear it from you."

"Fine," I replied angrily. "In a nutshell, I found out Jacob was in love with Mom and they kissed. I also found out he tried to kill me. And none of you thought that it was important enough to tell me. You let me socialize with that sociopath for years!"

"Do you really think I haven't read every single thought in Jacob's head?" my father questioned coldly. "Do you honestly believe I would let him anywhere near you if I thought he'd hurt you? That I'd let you go off to La Push to meet him whenever you felt like it if I didn't know Jacob would sacrifice his own life before letting any harm come to you?" He was getting angrier the longer he spoke, but I couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" I whispered.

"Because there was no point!" he retorted furiously. "From the moment Jacob saw you, he's only wanted to cherish you. That's all you needed to know."

I shook my head—not that he could see it. "I…I need some time. I need to think."

"Renesmee, I want you home in two weeks, do you hear me? If you aren't back by then, I'm coming after you. And trust me, you won't like the consequences if you try to run again because I would find you."

I felt a chill go down my spine at that threat but I remained firm. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm not coming home. You can come and get me, but I'll only run away again. And the next time, I'll go straight to the Volturi."

I heard him suck in an angry breath and I switched tactics. "Please Dad. I need this time to myself. I understand what you're saying. But I…" It hurt my heart too much. I couldn't face Jacob knowing he loved my mom, that he might still love her—because why else would he willingly hang out with vampires? It hurt so much knowing he'd never love me. "I-I just need some space."

He didn't say anything for a moment and I tried again. "Please Dad."

"You'll stay with Tanya?"

"Yes," I replied in relief.

"I want you to check in with us every week."

"Fine."

"Renesmee, don't make me regret this."

"I won't. I give you my word."

"I'm only giving you this because I know you're in shock right now and you need time to process everything."

"Thank you," I told him cordially.

He sighed again. "All right then. Here's your mother."

"No!" I snapped instantly. "I…I have to go. Goodbye."

I hung up before he could stop me and threw my phone on the bed, staring at it as though it had turned into a poisonous snake. A few minutes later, I heard a phone ring in the house and Tanya's voice as she answered it.

"Yes," she said. "That's fine, Edward. Don't worry about it…okay…goodbye."

There was a knock on my door and I went to open it. Expecting Tanya, I was surprised to see Carmen on the other side.

"Hello, _mi querida_," she said, pulling me in for a hug. She stepped back and made a tsking noise as she looked at me. "You need to hunt. Come."

Carmen had been the first one outside of my immediate family and the pack to show me any kind of compassion when I was a baby. I had always had a soft spot for her. And the best part about Carmen was that she never pressed me for anything. We went into the woods behind their house and hunted elk. She kept the conversation light and for that I was grateful.

Over the next few weeks, I settled into a routine. I slept most of the time. My depression was so overwhelming I welcomed the darkness sleep offered my brain. Most nights I dreamt of Jacob—not the monstrous Jake from my nightmares—but the one I'd loved since I was a little girl. The one who had treated me like a princess all my life. More often than not, I woke up aching to see him again—which pissed me right the hell off.

When I was awake, I still felt drowsy. I couldn't seem to concentrate and more often than not, I would disappear into the forest, find a place to sit down, and I'd cry until my head ached.

My mother tried calling me a few times, but I wouldn't talk to her. She had become the other woman in my mind. I also received worried calls from my aunts and uncles until I finally pleaded with my dad to have them leave me alone. My father was the only one I'd speak to. Our conversations were usually terse, always ending with him asking me when I was coming home. I never had an answer for him.

The only one I didn't hear from was the one I secretly wanted to hear from the most…Jacob. I saw his lack of communication as a sign that he genuinely didn't care about me. And every time I allowed myself that treacherous thought, my heart would break all over again.

After I had been with the Denali coven for almost two months, Tanya decided to take me shopping one weekend. Kate and her husband Garrett had gone off on their own for the week, and Eleazar and Carmen had decided they didn't want to shop, so it was just the two of us. I figured Tanya was lonely. It must have been hard for her to be surrounded by couples so in love while she had no mate.

"I think you've hit another growth spurt since you've been here," she told me as we entered the first shop. "Your face looks more mature."

"Does it?" I replied.

"Yes," Tanya said, shaking her head as she examined me. "I can't believe how quickly you grow. And on that note, let's get shopping."

A few hours later, we pulled into the driveway. I was exhausted—vampires certainly took "power-shopping" to a whole new level. I wanted nothing more than the comforts of my bed. As soon as I stepped outside the car, I smelled something foreign in the air. Tanya was by my side in a second, looking around the yard warily. The front door to the house opened and Eleazar walked out with a handsome man I hadn't seen in years.

"Nahuel?" I asked hesitantly.

He smiled brightly at me. "Hello Renesmee. It's been a long time."

I went over to him quickly and gave him a hug. "It's so good to see you. What are you doing here?"

"I invited him," Eleazar said. "We've been in contact since the Volturi visit. I've been interested in studying what powers half breeds might possess, and we've been trying to establish a network for all of you—"

"And when I heard you were up here," Nahuel interrupted. "I decided to mix business with pleasure. It's been years since we last met. You've certainly grown up."

"Well, I'm glad you're here," I told him even as I felt my cheeks warm at the way Nahuel was looking at me.

"Renesmee," Tanya intruded, stepping between Nahuel and I. "Why don't we go unpack our new clothes?"

I looked at her, surprised at her abruptness, but she was too busy giving Eleazar a dirty look to notice me.

"Sure," I said, going back to the car and grabbing my shopping bags.

"Let me help you," Nahuel offered, taking them from me.

"Thanks," I replied. "So how long are you planning on visiting?"

"Two weeks," he said as we went indoors.

"I'll have to show you all the best places I've found to hunt," I started to say, but then I looked at him cautiously. "That is…if you feed from animals."

"I haven't fed from a human since I discovered your family's way of eating," he assured me. "Truth be told, it's been a relief. Feeding from humans has always felt too cannibalistic for my tastes, and I was happy to discover I could survive off animals."

I flashed him a relieved grin. "Good. Well, maybe we can go out hunting later."

"It's a date," he replied as we walked to my room and he handed me my bags.

My stomach twisted at the idea of going out on a date, but I wasn't sure if I was excited, nervous…or unhappy. I entered my room and placed my new clothes in my closest before lying tiredly on my bed. I tried to picture Nahuel's face and the possible outcomes of our date, but all I saw was Jacob. Rolling over on my side, I fell into a troubled sleep waking up hours later from my normal nightmare.

I went into my private bath and washed the tears from my face before throwing my long curly hair into a ponytail. Going over to my closest, I picked out a form fitting t-shirt, some jeans that shaped my butt, and my favorite tennis shoes. I walked downstairs and saw Nahuel and Eleazar sitting on the couch, paperwork sprawled out on the table in front of them. Nahuel's eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Are you ready?" he asked as he walked over to me. I nodded just as Tanya came out of the kitchen.

"Are you going out?" she asked, looking from me to Nahuel.

"I thought I'd take him out hunting," I said.

"Great," she replied. "Let me just change into something more casual."

"That's okay," I told her, already walking toward the backdoor of the house. "I know my way around here."

"But…" Tanya started to say but Eleazar interrupted.

"They'll be fine, Tanya."

Nahuel and I were out the door before she could say anything else. I thought I heard her mutter something about "her parents are going to kill me," but I stopped paying attention as Nahuel reached over and lightly squeezed my hand.

"All right, missy, show me your favorite places to hunt."

Grinning at him, I took off running. For the first time since I left home, I felt…carefree. Nahuel easily kept up with me as we came to a meadow. He sniffed the air and his face broke out into an appreciative grin.

"Is that wolf I smell?" he asked, his eyes turning predatorial.

I latched onto his arm and stopped him before he could move. "No. Hunt anything you want. But leave the wolves alone."

In my mind, I saw Jacob and his pack. The image of Jake sent my spirits crashing. Nahuel's face pulled into a frown and I realized I'd transferred my thoughts to him through my touch. I quickly let him go.

"All right," he agreed softly. "No wolves."

After searching the area, he came across a bear which he drank dry. I settled for a deer, my heart not really into it after thinking of Jacob. After I finished feeding, Nahuel came over to me just as I was throwing the carcass to the side. He reached for a stray tendril of my hair that had slipped out of my ponytail and wrapped it around his finger before letting the strand go.

"You've been unhappy," Nahuel stated as his fingers lightly caressed my cheek. I shrugged, not willing to discuss it. As if he could read me, his hand dropped to his side and he said, "Okay. We don't have to talk about it."

We started to walk back to the house. Nahuel kept me entertained, telling me what the Amazon coven had been up to since I last saw them. He and his aunt had moved near the others after the Volturi visit. Later that night, he continued to keep my mind busy as we sat down to watch a marathon of Harry Potter movies.

And over the next couples of weeks, Nahuel and I grew extremely close. He quickly became a necessary fixture in my life. When he was around, he kept me so occupied I didn't have time to think about my broken heart. I almost forgot that his visit was temporary.

We were out in the forest one day lying on a stretch of grass when he said, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

I jerked into a sitting position and looked at him. He had his hands behind his head as he stared up at the canopy of trees above us.

"I guess I knew that you'd be leaving soon," I said with a sigh. "But I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," he said as he also sat up. "I've really enjoyed getting to know the woman you've become."

With my heart fluttering, Nahuel reached out and cupped my cheek. He scooted next to me until our sides were touching, and then he gently lowered his mouth until it brushed mine. When I didn't resist, he did it again, this time deepening the kiss. I felt a slight tingle go down my spine and I slowly moved my arms so that they went around his neck. That encouraged him even further and I felt his lips part mine. His tongue dipped inside my mouth.

And I instantly froze. I was suddenly feeling guilty and ashamed. Pushing against his shoulders, I broke away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I can't do this."

"It's okay," he replied, resting his forehead against mine. Even that small gesture of companionable comfort made me tense. Nahuel felt my rejection and let me go. Moving completely away from me, he said, "He's a lucky man."

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

"The wolf you love so much."

I felt myself pale. "I-I don't love anyone," I tried to deny.

His lips moved into a sad smile. "Your gift is amazing. It reveals a lot of what's going on inside your head. I knew the moment you started to feel guilty. I also knew why. Your heart belongs to Jacob Black."

I looked at my friend for a second and then covered my face with my hands in anguish. He was by my side in a second, wrapping his arm around me.

"Renesmee, I don't know what he's done to hurt you so much, but perhaps it's time you went home and faced him."

"I-I can't," I said. "And he doesn't care about me anyway. He hasn't even tried to call me."

"Have you given him any reason to think you'd be receptive to his call?"

When I didn't say anything, Nahuel gave me a knowing look. "Go see him. You'll only be miserable until you do."

Moving his hand to my chin, he held my face in place as he gave me another kiss, this time completely platonic. Chuckling lightly, he said, "Of course, if you do confront him and decide you're not in love with him after all, perhaps you can give me another chance."

I wrapped my arms around Nahuel and hugged him close. "I wish I could love you. It'd be so much easier."

"Ah, if only life were that simple," he replied somewhat sadly as he patted my back in comfort.

"Thank you, Nahuel," I whispered.

"For what?"

"For being a good friend to me," I said as I pulled away and stood up. I gave him an impish smile as I added, "And for giving me my first kiss."

Nahuel stood up as well. He picked up my hand and pressed his lips against it. "It was my pleasure. Now, we should probably get back before Tanya comes looking for us."

"Yeah, what's her deal anyway?" Tanya had been hounding us almost the entire duration of Nahuel's visit.

"She probably thinks I'm a threat to your virtue," Nahuel replied, wiggling his eyebrows at me and I giggled. My heart was sad though as I said goodbye to Nahuel the following morning.

"I'm always there for you if you need me," he whispered as he hugged me goodbye.

"Thanks again…for everything," I said. He kissed my forehead and got into the car so Eleazar could take him to the airport.

Without Nahuel's presence to distract me, I drifted for the next few weeks. I felt as though a veil had fallen over my eyes and I was seeing everything through a cloudy haze. I woke up one morning feeling restless and decided to go for a walk. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I kept thinking about Jacob. It had been almost three months since I last saw him.

I missed him. I longed for him in a way I didn't understand. I felt like my mind was being pulled in one direction, while my heart was being pulled firmly in the direction of La Push.

So I allowed myself the luxury of thinking about him. For the first time since I left home, I really thought back to the Jacob I knew. Not the nightmare…but the man. I thought of when I was little and he'd ripped off Emmett's hand because my uncle had destroyed my teddy bear. I thought of my first Christmas and Jacob's insistence that I watch _Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer_ like other kids my age. I remembered when he gave me my promise bracelet and how he told me he'd always be there for me. I thought back to when Jake begged my parents to let me have a sleepover with Claire Young so I could have a normal childhood experience. I thought of how he'd comforted me after I got older and Brady broke my heart. I remembered how pained he'd looked as I cried my heartache out on his shoulder.

As I remembered him, I finally began to understand. Kate was right. Jacob hadn't changed. He had fallen off the pedestal I'd unfairly placed him on. He was now horribly flawed—but he was still the man I loved. And the man I loved would never hurt me.

Deciding it was time to go home and have it out with my entire family, I headed back to the house. As soon as I got close to the property, I froze as I picked up a familiar scent. My mom approached me from the side of the house a few seconds later.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh, it's definitely time for you and I to have a little chat," she said. "I've given you more than enough time to get over whatever it is that's bothering you. You've refused to talk to me. You won't listen to your father. You won't have any contact with Jacob. So you've lost your opportunity to speak your mind. I'm going to talk now and you're going to listen. Understand?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and gave her a defiant look. She glared back at me before saying, "Let's start with number one. Yes, when you were born, Jacob thought briefly of killing you. He didn't know what you were and he thought I'd died. He was irrational—"

"Because he loved you so much he would have killed for you," I interjected.

My mom ignored my interruption. "But as soon as he saw you—as soon as he looked in your eyes—you became his number one priority. He could have cared less about me in that moment. Which brings me to point number two. You seem to be under the delusion that Jacob is in love with me. Once upon a time when we were teenagers, yes, Jacob thought he loved me. And in my way, I loved him back. But I'll remind you that at one point you thought you were in love with Brady, and it turned out to be nothing but a silly crush. Same thing with Jacob and I. Nothing happened between us except for a couple of chaste kisses because I was, and still am, deeply in love with your father. As for Jacob, he eventually realized he was only drawn to me because…"

She paused for so long I finally asked, "Because?"

My mom bit her lip and then shook her head. "No. That's Jacob's story to tell."

"And you think I should give him a chance to explain it?" I asked coolly, conveniently forgetting I was planning on going home anyway.

"Renesmee…" Suddenly my mother sounded exhausted. "Jacob's not doing well."

My stomach dropped at that announcement. "What do you mean?"

She hesitated before saying, "He hasn't been right since you ran off. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't eat. He recently locked himself away in his house and no one can get him to come out. Sam Uley finally came to see us about it. He let your dad and I go to La Push to see if we could talk sense into Jacob, but he just told us to get the hell out. I think the only one he'll listen to is you."

"Why would I make a difference?" I asked.

"You have no idea how much you mean to him, do you?" my mom stated sadly. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry that you seem to doubt your self-worth so much. You mean so much to all of us. But Jacob, honey…he _needs_ you. Please. Just let him explain things to you. Give him that chance. I know you think he's some kind of monster, but think back to all the wonderful things he's done for you over the years and hear him out."

I looked at her and then I slowly nodded. I wanted to go home anyway. But knowing something was wrong with Jacob, I felt an urgent need to get back home.

"Let's go," I told her and she hugged me. At first, I was resistant. And then I threw my arms around her and hugged her back. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she replied, kissing my cheek. "You were hurt. We understood that. We didn't tell you everything because it was the past. There was no point of even bringing it up. Do you understand?"

"I…I just need to talk to Jacob," I said, my urgency increasing. "I should go pack."

Tanya opened the backdoor to the house and had my suitcase in her hand. Giving me a wink, she said, "You're all set."

"Eager to get rid of me?" I joked.

Tanya laughed. "What can I say? My life will be much more peaceful once Edward isn't calling here every two minutes for a status update."

"Speaking of," my mom said. "What's this we heard about you and Nahuel?"

I groaned as I took my suitcase from Tanya and headed to the front of the house where my mom's rental car was waiting. I said goodbye to the Denali coven and we were off. My mother and I had a long chat as we headed to the airport. By the time we landed in Port Angeles hours later, our relationship was back on firm ground. She drove me to La Push, looking around wistfully as we approached Jacob's house.

"I always loved it here," she remarked. "I probably won't be welcome back after you make Jacob see sense."

She pulled into the driveway of Jacob's rental house. Even though it was evening, there weren't any lights on. I wondered if he was home.

"I've got to get going, hon. I don't want to push my luck by being here too long," my mom said before looking pointedly at my car door. I grabbed the handle and got out. "Good luck," she called out before she put the vehicle in reverse and left.

Taking a nervous breath, I made my way into the house. I flicked on a light and wrinkled my nose in disgust. The air smelled like stale alcohol and food that had gone bad. There was a trail of empty beer bottles lining the hallway. Pizza boxes and trash filled the living room tables and floor. I didn't think anyone was home, but something was instinctively telling me to go to the bedroom. I turned on the hallway light and cracked open the door. I almost screamed out in fright as I saw a body lying lifelessly on the bed.

"Jacob!" I hurried over to him, but he didn't respond. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open. I saw in surprise that one of my shirts was clutched in his hand. I had left it at his house on a day I'd worn my bikini. It had been a vain attempt to get him to notice me…an attempt that failed. I ripped it away from him and grabbed his hand, bringing it to my chest.

Suddenly all the pain I'd been experiencing the last few months disappeared as I made contact with his skin. I felt like an invisible weight I didn't even know I was carrying had been lifted from me. But I was also worried. His hand was warm, but it wasn't as hot as it normally was.

"Jacob, please don't die," I begged as a tear spilled down my cheek. His eyes flickered open and I sighed in relief before whispering, "Hey."

"Nessie?" he croaked, his voice sounding as if he hadn't used it in years. He whispered, "Am I dead? I can see you and I know you won't come near me anymore because I'm a monster. But if I'm dead that must mean you are too."

He looked panicked at that idea and he started to plead with me like I was an apparition. "No, go away. I don't want Ness to be dead. I can't…I can't live if she's dead. And I think I'm still alive so get the fuck out of here."

"Oh Jacob," I said. I lied down next to him and touched his face. "Look at me, Jacob. I'm here."

He turned his head to stare at the ceiling vacantly as he mumbled incoherently, "I should have told her…I should have…the imprint…"

"Jacob, I don't understand what you're saying," I said nervously. He responded by closing his eyes.

Frustrated, I got off the bed and hit the light switch. He groaned and threw his arm over his face. I looked around the room and saw more beer bottles and dirty laundry on the floor surrounding his bed. I almost threw up though as I got a good look at Jake. He didn't look like my Jacob at all. He looked like a skeleton covered in a thin layer of skin. I felt so helpless as he continued to lie there. Needing to do something, I began to gather up his dirty clothes.

"This place is a pigsty," I complained as I threw his laundry in the hamper. "And when was the last time you ate? You're way too thin. Grandfather Carlisle would have a conniption if he saw how unhealthy you've let yourself become."

I was about to head to the kitchen to see if I could find him some food when surprisingly strong arms wrapped around me from behind. I was lifted off my feet and soon felt the mattress against my back. Jacob moved his arms so that they were on either side of me, caging me in.

"You're really here, aren't you?" he questioned, staring down at me as if he half expected me to vanish.

"I'm here," I assured him, reaching up to caress his cheekbone which stood out prominently on his sickly looking face. He closed his eyes at my touch.

"But why?" he finally asked. "I thought you hated me."

"I…" I swallowed as I tried to form my words. "I thought I did, too, but I-I realized I didn't. And then my mom came and she said you were sick…"

"Oh…" Jacob moved back so he was no longer hovering over me. I watched his shoulders slump as he sat next to me. "So you felt bad for me and decided to check up on your would-be assassin, right? You're taking Stockholm Syndrome to a whole new level."

"Stockholm Syndrome is when a hostage falls in love with their captor," I pointed out.

"But didn't I do that to you?" he asked. "I kept you close for years, even when I knew about your nightmares. I knew that I was the monster you dreamt about for so long, and I never had the balls to tell you the truth. How can you even look at me?"

I hesitated before saying slowly, "Do you plan to kill me still?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "I'd rather kill myself than let anything happen to you."

"And I know that now. I just needed time to realize it." I sat up and brought my knees to my chest so I could hug them. "Jacob…why didn't you go through with killing me when I was little?"

He reached over and grabbed my hand. "What's your first memory of me—your first _good_ memory. Not the one of me about to attack you."

I frowned. "I don't know. I guess I remember you and Aunt Rosalie fighting over who would get to feed me."

He looked defeated again. "That's it? You don't remember the first time we looked at each other…I mean _really_ looked at each other. It was right after I was going to attack you."

I stiffened as I thought back to that moment and Jacob remorsefully pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. An electric charge shot over my entire body. Funny. When Nahuel had done the same thing, I hadn't felt anything at all.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Jacob said. "I guess I can understand why you'd want to block that moment out. But you see…the single greatest moment of my life happened when I looked into your eyes that first time." He paused before he stated, "It was the moment I imprinted on you."

"I'm sorry?" I said in confusion.

Jacob sounded tired as he muttered, "I was going to tell you about this when you were older—" I almost smiled at that. It was so Jacob to say he'd tell me something…when I was older—"But I think you need to know now. You see, there's this thing that some of the wolves do. It's called imprinting. It's our way of finding our soul mate. When we look into the eyes of the one we're destined to be with, our entire world shifts and that person becomes everything to the wolf. When I saw you for the first time, you became the very center of my world and that hasn't changed once since then. When I'm around you, everything makes sense. Being away from you these last few months…it's been like I've been severed in half."

I understood exactly what he meant. "Is that why you've let yourself get the way you have?"

He shrugged. "It's been hard to function. I feel you…your emotions. Being the cause of your pain has been crippling." He looked at our joined hands as he said, "But now that you're back, I don't hurt as bad. Things are becoming clear again."

"So…" I said slowly. "I'm your soul mate?"

"Yeah." He sounded relieved that I appeared to be taking everything so well.

The truth was that I was a little freaked out. "You were in love with me when I was a baby?" I asked weakly.

Jacob's eyes went wide. "No! Imprinting doesn't work that way. When you were a baby, all I thought about was protecting you. And as you got older my feelings changed and you became my best friend."

"And…" I was suddenly nervous. "Are you in love with me now?"

Jacob hesitated before he said, "No." I started to pull away from him but he held onto my hand. "Nessie, please understand. You're only fifteen. I just don't see you romantically…though you look older since I last saw you." He looked baffled as his eyes wandered over my face. "I think you're beautiful—the most beautiful girl I've ever seen…but you're still too young for me."

I nodded slowly and then I remembered something. "My mom said she didn't think you were ever truly in love with her, but that you were drawn to her for another reason."

"Imprinting is a funny thing," Jacob said, giving me a half smile that filled my stomach with butterflies. "Sam dated Leah for awhile. You knew about that, right?" I nodded and he said, "But as soon as he saw Emily after he phased for the first time, he imprinted on her."

"Poor Leah," I said. "That must have been hard."

"It was, but she's found peace. She's in love with Dylan and I think he's really good for her," Jacob told me as he laced his fingers with mine. "Some theorize that we're drawn to the family members of our imprints. Sam might have been drawn to Leah because she shares DNA with Emily. Same with me. I think I was drawn to Bella because she shares your DNA. As soon as you were born and I imprinted, any romantic feelings I had for Bella disappeared completely and we became the good friends we were always meant to be."

"But there's a chance you'll fall in love with me someday?" I asked, trying to hide my hope. Imprinting seemed like such an unbelievable concept, but I knew Jacob spoke the truth. Now that we were together again, I felt like I was finally awake after being asleep for months.

"I don't know if I'll ever love you like that, Ness," Jake replied truthfully. "That's the way imprinting is _supposed_ to work. I just don't see you that way yet. But be patient with me, okay?"

I could barely hold back my smile. If Jake needed time for me to grow up some more, I was willing to give him that. "Okay Jacob."

"And you won't run off again, right?" He sounded panicked at the idea.

"I won't leave you again." I had too much reason to stay.

"You promise?" he asked. This time I didn't hold back my smile and Jake relaxed as soon as he saw it.

"I promise."

**THE END**

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><p><strong>Let me know what you thought. <strong>**And thank you for reading! (East Coasters, between earthquakes and hurricanes, you're in for a busy week. Keep safe!)**


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